MyVoice

Rough Draft #3

My Switch


It was the last hot, endless summer day before I started up school again. One year older. One year smarter. I was so excited. I hadn't seen most of my friends for what seemed like forever. I couldn't wait!

When we went to orientation at my school, Warren Walker, the one I had been going to since kindergarten, the one that held so many happy memories. I figured out that my teacher was Ms. Huff. She was the teacher I wanted, so I was so excited. My parents got to meet her and thought she was really nice. I couldn't wait to start school!

When we were just about to leave, my mom's phone rang. "Yes. Yes of course. We'll be right there," is all that I could hear. She was smiling. Her grin could have fallen off of her face it was so big. "What's up mom?" I said so anxious to know what she was excited about. "You got into Explorer and we are going there right know!" "WHAT?!!?" I was amazed. I didn't want to change schools. I wanted to stay at Warren Walker with my best friend Olivia. "A boy didn't show up, and you got in," she said, shocked that I didn't want to change. "Explorer will be a better school for you. More project based."

When we got to Explorer, I got to meet the principal, Jill Green. She was a short lady with curly brown hair. She looked really nice. She had a golden, curly haired dog whose name was Gus. She said that she brought him to school with her everyday. "Hi. Welcome to Explorer. My name is Ms. Jill Green." She started talking with my mom about stuff I didn't know at the time. Finally they stopped talking. She told me, " You are in Room 8 with Ms. Adams."

She took my mom and I to Room 8, where Ms. Adams taught. When I walked in, everybody turned and looked at me. The lights were off in the small room. The only light came from the windows and the projector, that was filled with numbers. I noticed a few people that I knew from Warren Walker, but a lot of new faces. I was nervous. But who wouldn't be? Ms. Adams welcomed me and we went to morning meeting. I got to participate in their morning circle. They played this game called something like Ball Pass or Pass the ball. It was really fun. By the end of that hour, I knew almost everybodys name. I was impressed. I was disappointed when we had to leave. My mom said, “You will be coming to this school so no need to worry.” “Phew,” I said.

Looking back at it now, I think changing schools what was best for me. All the new people I got to meet, all of the new things I got to learn, and all of the nice teachers

Using Simile, metaphor, and hyperboles

I didn't use any similes, metaphors, and hyperboles in my memoir. I think that I could incorperate some of these in my draft. If I add them, I think it would add to my story.

Thoughtful Word choice

In my opinion, using a thoughtful word choice means using words such as shouted intstead of said. I think tha tI involved this a lot in my memoir. I used descriptive words instead of the words that kindergardeners would use!

Sentence Length

It helps to have different lengths in your writing piece because it helps the reader understand more of what they are reading. In my writing, I include different sentence lengths. This helps the reader understand more of what I am thinking and to know that I don't always talk in short or long sentences.

My Hot spot

What I wanted the hot spot of my writing to be is when I changed schools. How I did this was I wrote about when I got to tour my new school and my feelings and emotions. When I first started thinking about what to write my memoir about, I was going to write about my first day of school but then I realized that I didn't remember enough to write a whole memoir.

Italics

Using italics in your writing either means thought or when the reader says or reads it differently. In my writing, I use it a lot in my first paragraph. When I want it be read with personality and tone. I think that adding italics really helps me understand what I was thinking and how I want it to be read.